Bringing Noise to the Silent Struggle

Aug21

I haven’t posted much lately. Life has been….interesting. I’m not complaining, at least I’m trying not to, things have just been weird. Especially, lately.

You may not know this, but I am a guest contributor for my friend Nathan’s blog, NateTheWorld. Each month, Nathan sends out an email to his contributors asking for submissions and he provides writing prompts, in case any one needs inspiration. I don’t always send something in, especially if my own life is a crazy, hectic mess because finding time to do one. more. thing. just doesn’t seem possible.

But, this month one of the prompts was ‘my struggle’ and it spoke volumes to me. So I sat down and started writing. I sent my contribution over to him and he posted it. And then I started thinking about the struggle I wrote about and thought about how I was still struggling. Still dealing with it and what else could I do to lessen the burden?

So, I wrote another piece and posted it to my other blog. And really, I thought that would be it. That a few people would read either piece and maybe find comfort in my words, or at least have some light shed on a topic with which they are unfamiliar.

But that is not what happened. Not at all. What happened instead is I started receiving messages from people telling me that they were going through the same struggle. That they had a similar experience. That they, too, understood my pain and frustrations. It was……overwhelming. Amazing. Incredible.

Then, I decided that if I received such an amazing response from people I know, what could happen if people I didn’t know also heard my message? I reached out to another blogger/writer that I really like and asked him to read the piece, and if it made sense for his page, could he post it? AND HE DID! I couldn’t believe it; this person who doesn’t even know me, felt like what I wrote should be shared.

Of course, comments came in, and they didn’t all go my way, but that’s alright. Because at the end of the day, I know that thousands of people have read what I wrote, and perhaps they learned something they didn’t know beforehand.

Some of the comments said I was perhaps being a little too emotional or oversensitive to the topic at hand. Maybe. But that doesn’t make me wrong. Or make my point/opinion invalid.

For the record, I DID donate those samples to my church. And I gave the coupons that I kept receiving to the Early Ed. center so they could go to parents who WANT them.

I’m not sure that expressing my opinion makes me selfish, but she’s entitled to think that.

I’m not sure that it’s the worst article ever, but again, she is entitled to think that.

I’d also like to point out that I didn’t say anything about malice from the companies; I pointed out the short-sightedness of the campaigns. I also didn’t call for a boycott, just stated that I won’t be giving my money to them. As for questioning my struggle with infertility, that I took a little personally. She says that a year of not conceiving doesn’t count as infertile. Actually, it does. According to the Mayo Clinic’s website: “Infertility is defined as not being able to get pregnant despite having frequent, unprotected sex for at least a year for most people and six months in certain circumstances.”

My husband and I have been trying to start a family FOR A YEAR! That doesn’t seem like a long time, unless it’s something you really want and it doesn’t happen, over and over and over again.

This woman commented several times, apparently I struck a nerve with her. Especially since she called my post a rant (it wasn’t). But, I am a long time reader because I haven’t ALWAYS been in this struggle, and because the guy is a good writer and the “hilarities of parenthood” crack me up. But, perhaps I’m not allowed to laugh at parenthood since I’m not part of the club? Who knows.

Not all of the comments were negative, though. Some of them were really nice and were from people who had experienced similar things or understood what my whole point was (that the program’s targeting is wrong because they don’t know who the person on the other end of the data they purchased really is. Being a woman that shops at Babies R Us doesn’t make me anymore a mother than eating a banana makes me a monkey).

And some of the comments were just really nice and proved to me that what I had to say was at least heard AND UNDERSTOOD by some people – which is really my ultimate goal. To be understood. Isn’t that everyone’s goal?

I did contact the companies that send those formula samples; I sent them my article. And one of them responded letting me know they removed me from their mailing list. Which I appreciate. But that’s not my point. They need to reevaluate the whole thing. I understand the purpose of the campaign. They want to sell a product. But, there might be a better way to target the correct people; I don’t have the answer to HOW to do that, but I’m sure they have really smart people working for them that can come up with the answer.

I let them know that I appreciated being removed, but that if this is happening to me, then it is happening to other women. And that’s the problem. They said they’ve given the information “to the appropriate department” so who knows if anything actually comes out of it. I really hope it does.

So, that’s the biggest thing that’s been going on in my life lately. Just bringing awareness to a silent struggle. One blog post at a time.

Suddreth Vacation – Belfast/Northern Ireland

Jun23

Perhaps my favorite part of the entire vacation was our spontaneous trip to Belfast and Northern Ireland. I really wasn’t sure what to expect. I’m Catholic; there’s a lot of tensions between Catholics and Protestants in Belfast. But, we decided to go anyway to meet my Mom’s friend for dinner. We had dinner at a place in St. Anne’s Square and really had a great time laughing and joking with them.

Before dinner, we met the lady we would be staying with, a charming, quintessentially Irish woman named Mary McNaulty. She was lovely. We got to her place mid-morning and decided that we’d go up to County Antrim to see the Giant’s Causeway.

As we were headed out of Belfast we had a choice of taking the regular highway up there or we could take a more scenic route and use the Coastal Highway. Naturally, we chose the coastal highway and man, am i glad we did. Northern Ireland is freaking beautiful. It is green and lush and full of heather and flowers. There are also sheep EVERYWHERE!

We stopped in a little borough to stretch our legs and take in the beautiful view of the ocean and came across an old church and cemetary.

There were also some binoculars you could use to look across the ocean and a sign explaining what you would see: Scotland! On a clear day, which we had, you can actually see clear across the ocean and see Scotland. If we would have had more time, we would have jumped on a ferry and gone!

We continued up the coastal highway and just came across breathtaking view after breathtaking view all the way to Giant’s Causeway. Let me tell you something, the pictures that you Google of it don’t even come close to doing it justice. It is remarkable. It’s a pretty good hike, about a mile downhill, but there are buses that will take you down and back up if you can’t make the hike. Once down there you can climb all over the hexagonal rocks and, if you’re really brave, can walk pretty much into the North Atlantic ocean.

After exploring as much as we could, we hiked back up the hill and headed for Bushmills, which is only a few miles from there. When you’re that close to the source, you can’t really not go.

We headed back to Belfast for dinner and took the main highway, but before that we made one final stop in a cute little town that had a marina with a beach. We had been nominated for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge while we were gone and, not wanting to be left out of the reindeer games, decided that the best way to complete the challenge would be to get in the North Atlantic ocean. Pro-tip: Don’t. It’s freezing!!!!!

The next morning we decided to explore a little bit of Belfast before heading back to Dublin. We drove past the Peace Walls on Shankill and Falls and I couldn’t help but think and realize that on either side of the wall one of us wasn’t truly welcome. It was a surreal moment. We sat at the end of a Catholic neighborhood inside the wall and just stared. It’s a monstorous wall. And it is literally in someone’s backyard. The other thing that struck me was the stark contrast in artwork on either side of the wall. On the Protestant side are the murals and where everyone signs their name; on the Catholic side there are murals, but they are of Bobby Sands and say things like “Never Forget.”

While there has been a lot of progress made toward peace, there seems to still be some work to do.

Once we left Belfast, we decided that we wanted to see some more places where Game of Thrones filmed. We saw several as we drove up to Giant’s Causeway and since we really weren’t in a hurry to get back to Dublin, we took our time to explore. We went to Downpatrick and visited Inch Abbey which is where the Battle of the Trident took place. The Abbey is really just ruins now, but they have renderings of what it would have looked like in the 1100s and it’s gorgeous. Across the river you can see St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Downpatrick.

We also went to Castle Ward, which served as Winterfell. We walked around the loch and climed up to Audley’s Tower and hiked through the grounds.

After exploring Game of Thrones sites, we started our drive back to Dublin so we could pack and get ready for our flight home. Before we went to Dublin though, we made one last stop in Carlingford at the recommendation of the gentleman at the car rental place. It is a darling village right by the ocean. We ate at a place called the Kingfisher and had some wonderful seafood and a great time overall.

We continued back to Dublin and spent the rest of our time at the hotel packing and talking about what an amazing adventure we had been on over the last two weeks.

The next morning we made one last stop for a traditional Irish breakfast and then returned the car and headed to the airport for our flight back to America.

It was an incredible trip and I can’t wait to go back. As much as I missed my family and friends, I really didn’t want to leave. I tried to figure out a way to have Murphy shipped to Ireland but there wasn’t enough time to work out the logistics.

If you are considering a trip, I hope these posts have been helpful and informative; if you’re not planning a trip, I hope you’ve enjoyed following our adventures!

Suddreth Vacation – Dublin

Jun22

After a whirlwind final morning in London, which included a tour of Buckingham Palace, we made our way back to Heathrow to catch our flight to Dublin. We were seriously pushing it on our timing but we made it just in the nick of time and got there right before our flight began boarding.

After we got checked into our hotel, the first order of business was finding a SIM card for Brett’s phone so we could make calls and look up maps. We walked through St. Stephen’s Green, and made our way out to Grafton Street. We found a mobile kiosk and got squared away and then headed on our way to find some local grub.

We ended up at The Hairy Lemon which served up an AMAZING beef pie. Whoever said the Irish can’t cook must really hate food, because everything I ate in Ireland was incredible.

We went and explored the Dublin Castle which is really cool. You can just walk right into it and there is a really pretty green space in the center with gardens that you can explore.

The next day we walked around the city, saw St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Christ Church, and the River Liffey. We got caught in an Irish rain storm which went as quickly as it came and finally made our way to the Guinness Storehouse at St. James’ Gate. It’s an awesome experience. You get to walk around the storehouse, see the water that comes in from the Wicklow Mountains, see and smell the hops that are used, and you can even go through the Guinness Academy where they teach you how to pour a proper pint of “the black stuff” and become a certified pint puller. From there you can hang out in the Gravity Bar which offers a 360-degree view of Dublin. On the windows are silhouettes of what you’re looking at; like Phoenix Park where the Dublin Zoo is located.

We walked through the Temple Bar area later that night, and while I’m glad I got to see what the fuss is all about I am REALLY glad we weren’t staying there. Too noisy, busy, and touristy.

The next day we spent more time walking around the city and just taking in the beauty Dublin offers. We walked to the Jameson Distillery where they explain their triple distilling process and walk you through each step of the process. Pro-tip: if you do the tour and they ask for volunteers, volunteer. They are going to let you do a whisky tasting comparing Jameson to two other whiskys; you’ll get a “diploma” afterward, too. In addition to the tour, your ticket gets you a drink of your choice between two options. I passed on my drink and got Brett an additional whisky.

We ate at some really awesome places while we were in Dublin; I had a great lamb stew at this farm to table place just off Grafton Street. We ate dinner at a place in Temple Bar called Boxty where I ate the best beef stew EVER. Finally, we ate at a place we had seen on Bourdain’s show The Layover called Crackbird where we had some really good chicken.

After three days in Dublin we decided to take a day trip to Belfast. My Mom’s friend just so happened to be in Belfast while we were in Dublin, and since she lives 1,800 miles away when we’re in the States and was only an hour and a half away in Ireland we decided to drive up and meet her and her boyfriend for dinner.

We used Airbnb to find a place to stay in Belfast and ended up staying at the quainest little house with the most Irish lady ever. It was awesome.

Stay tuned for the final portion of our vacation!

Suddreth Vacation – London

Sep25

For the second part of our vacation we took a short flight over to London (if you missed the first part of our vacation, Paris, you can catch up here).

We arrived at Heathrow in the mid-afternoon and hopped on the Heathrow Express which took us straight into Paddington Station. We grabbed a cab from the taxi queue and headed off to our hotel in South Kensington – The Kensington.

Our hotel was beautiful and was just a quick five minute walk from the tube station. Always full of surprises, the husband really outdid himself in London. When we walked into our room, I was surprised to find out that it wasn’t a room at all, but a suite! And sitting on the windowsill were a bouquet of my favorite flowers, alstromeria. Shortly after our arrival there was a knock on our door and there was a waiter with a tray of chocolate and strawberries and an anniversary card from the hotel.

After we got settled in to our suite and freshened up, we went out to explore the city. We decided to head towards the Thames and walk around the neighborhoods down there. We admired Westminster Abbey, Parliament, The Queen’s Tower and Big Ben, and the Central Methodist Hall. We even got to see the London Eye, though it was from across the river.

Westminster Abbey.

As we were walking through the neighborhoods we came across a little pub called Prince Albert’s and popped in for a pint and some chips. It was right after working hours so the place was jumping with locals and it was so neat to watch everyone just enjoying their lives!

Later that night we met up with a friend at the White Stallion for some dinner and drinks and really just had a great time. It was so nice to talk with someone who lives there and could suggest fun touristy things to do that wouldn’t make us look like ultra-tourists.

The next day we went down to Buckingham Palace to watch the changing of the guard. I really didn’t know what to expect but when we arrived there were about ten thousand people there! No joke. The pomp and circumstance is truly remarkable. The guards taking over march down the street and in to the courtyard of the palace while the band plays. The mounted guard walks down the streets around the palace clearing the street of pedestrians. It is really an amazing show of force and tradition.

Two Royal Guards.

Just being near the palace was incredible. It is gorgeous and it just seems so crazy to me that you can just walk down the footpath and boom – there’s a palace. In the middle of the city!

After that we went up to King’s Cross to take a glimpse at Platform 9 and 3/4 (of course). They really have a pretty good setup there. You stand in a queue and two Potter people take your picture as you run into the wall. FOR FREE! There is a souvenir shop if you’re brave enough to enter – it was a mad house when we were there. I opted not to enter. The next time we go back to London though, I definitely want to take a Potter tour!

We spent the rest of the afternoon on Downing Street and in the Churchill War Room Museum, which is incredible. The artifacts on display are impressive but what was so interesting to me is that you actually get to walk through the actual place where Churchill watched the war progress. The maps he and his team used to track progress are still on the wall and you can even see the pinholes from where they were showing troop movements. There is a section of the ceiling that has been removed so you can see the six inches of concrete that Churchill had poured above the rooms because he found out that they weren’t very secure. If the building had been directly hit the building would have collapsed on them. The concrete was a little bit of a cushion. This museum is one of the best I’ve been to and the interaction you get to participate in really immerses you into the story.

The War Room

That night we went to this wine bar called Gordon’s on the recommendation of our friend. The bar is below street level and is built inside of what looks like a cave. They only serve wine, but you can cheese boards, meats, and breads to go along with your wine. The place is really tiny and filled up quickly, but we were able to procure two spots to sit inside – they have outdoor seating as well. After our leisurely wine and cheese experience we walked to our restaurant, Simpson’s On-The-Strand, to enjoy our actual dinner. This place is incredible. We each order a beef wellington, because London. They had a piano player, and beautiful decor, and the service was outstanding.

We went back to our hotel and enjoyed some champagne and snacks by the fireplace in the lobby area and enjoyed some really fantastic people watching.

Cheers to year one!

On the morning of our final day, I was a little frantic. We had packed the night before and everything was ready to go, but we had one more thing to do before we went to the airport. On our first night in London, in a moment of trying to be super helpful, I offered to buy our passes into Buckingham Palace. There are only six weeks out of the entire year that the palace is opened for tourists and we happened to be there during part of those six weeks! I want to go inside a palace! I’m a princess, afterall!!! So I bought the tickets and thought everything was good to go – until I received my email confirmation and realized that I bought tickets for the wrong day! I read the terms and conditions and it stated clearly, no refunds, no exchanges, sorry not sorry. I was crushed. I was trying to be so helpful and the one thing in London that I absolutely wanted to do, I messed up in a big way! After we watched the changing of the guard we actually walked over to ticketing area and explained the situation – I purchased tickets for the wrong day; we were leaving the day the tickets were for and was there anything at all they would be able to do for us. We tried to get in to see the palace that day during the last time slot, but it was full. They absolutely would not refund my money, but what they could do was put us in the very first time slot for the day we were leaving. We accepted their offer and went about the rest of our day, although I was still pretty bummed out because the first time slot of the day was 9:30 and our flight was at noon. I didn’t think there was any possible way we would be able to go through the palace and make our flight.

But, as I’ve said before, my husband is incredibly thoughtful. He is also a problem-solver. So, we took our luggage with us and headed to the palace – and you know what? THEY HAVE A BAG CHECK ON SITE! Which meant that we would be able to leave our bags, explore the palace and still make our flight! Unfortunately, there is a pretty strict no photography rule inside the palace so I can’t show you any pictures, but I promise however beautiful, magnificent, and incredible I say it is, it’s even more than that. I couldn’t stop smiling and was just so blown away by the fact that people live there. LIVE. THERE. It is amazing. If you are thinking about going to London, go when you can get inside the palace because it is sooooo worth it. Plus, you get to view the Queen’s gallery, the carriage and mews, and the gardens.

Just hanging outside Queen Elizabeth’s house. NBD.

After we exited the palace grounds we hailed a taxi cab and went back to Paddington Station to take the Heathrow Express back to the airport. Thanks to some very kind people who let us jump to the front of the queue we were able to make our flight on time. When we got to the gate they hadn’t even started boarding so all of the anxiety I had that morning was for nothing!

We boarded our Aer Lingus plane and got ready to continue our journey in Dublin!

Dia duit, Éire!

Stay tuned for the next bit of our journey….

Suddreth Vacation – Paris

Sep3

To celebrate being married for an entire year to the best guy ever, the husband and I went on quite the vacation! Our entire whirlwind adventure started on August 15th when we left for Paris, a city he had previously visited but I had not.

Bon Voyage!

We left our local airport early in the afternoon and flew for what felt like an eternity. I am not a huge fan of flying long distances (the planes go very high in the sky and I am terrified of heights), but I managed to make it through the whole flight without any tears (or sleep-not recommended). Upon our arrival at Charles de Gaulle airport I was amazed and impressed at the efficiency of getting people through customs and to their bags. It was a breeze.

Paris, nous voila.

We decided to immerse ourselves as much as possible in the public transport systems, and found a ticket station to catch the train into Paris. Riding through the city and people watching, taking in the surroundings, and really just being in the moment was an incredible experience.

Train Station selfie!

We came to our stop and headed toward the streets of Paris. My husband is an incredibly thoughtful human being (that’s one of MANY reasons I married him), but I am always blown away by his thoughtfulness. I thought the stop we were at was a few blocks from our hotel, turns out the husband had another plan.

As we climbed the stairs out of the train station and onto the streets of Paris, I couldn’t help but hear and feel the buzz of energy that was surrounding the city. I looked around me, felt the warmth of the sunshine on my face, and soaked in the beauty of the blue sky above me (as opposed to around me). We walked towards the corner and as I started to turn, there it was.

Notre Dame Cathedral.

I stopped in my tracks, gasped in awe, and then, started to cry at her magnificent beauty. After close to thirteen hours of traveling, we had arrived. It was overwhelming, and exhilarating, and the only thing I had left at that precise moment was tears; of joy, of bewilderment, of excitement, of pure love.

Notre Dame Cathedral

After composing myself and thanking my husband for creating such a wonderfully thoughtful surprise, we found a taxi and headed for the Derby Eiffel Hotel, a charming boutique hotel less than a mile from the Eiffel Tower. We checked our bags in with the hotel and then out we went to explore Paris. We walked past the Paris Military Academy, a grandiose complex that houses several buildings and training facilities, and down to Champs du Mars to behold one of the greatest feats of engineering.

To say the Eiffel Tower is impressive is an understatement. It is that and so much more. It is, quite simply, awe-inspiring. To think about what they were able to accomplish given the materials they had to work with is incredible.

We were able to watch the light show (which starts at midnight and lasts about five minutes) both nights we were there and were even able to sit on the balcony at our hotel to watch it the last night we were in town. It was the best way to spend a first wedding anniversary.

We explored the Rodin Museum, walked back down to Notre Dame, cafe hopped our way through the city and ate some incredible food during our time in Paris.

Rodin Museum

Food Highlights

– Cafe du Marche

– L’Petit Fernand

Paris was everything I thought it would be and more, and nothing like I thought it would be both at the same time. Other people’s opinions and experiences in Paris were nestled safely inside my head, but I refused to let them cloud my own experience. The most common negative things I heard about Paris ahead of the trip were 1. Parisians are rude and 2. that Paris is dirty. I’ll address both criticisms.

1. Parisians are rude

Possibly. However, this was not my experience. Granted, we went in August when many people are on holiday elsewhere, but those who were still around were incredibly kind. Our server at Cafe des Officiers was as friendly as could be!

Our bartender, Tim. Obviously, one of those ‘rude Parisians’ I heard about before the trip.

As we were walking along the Seine we came across two cute, little, kitchy, Eiffel Towers that are sold as touristy items. We looked around and saw a merchant closing up her stand and asked her about the towers and she told us that they were supposed to be keychains but were missing the rings so she can’t sell them – and she gave them to us – for free. That doesn’t sound like the rude Parisians that people told me to expect.

Our servers at L’Petit Fernand were so nice! My French sucks. It is so terrible. I can ask two questions, poorly; ‘what is this?’ (Qu’est-ce que c’est) and ‘may I have more white wine, please?’ (Puis-je avoir davantage vin blanc, s’il vous plaît). And I say both with a terrible American accent. But our servers LOVED that I attempted to ask them in French, however poorly it might have been.

2. Paris is dirty

People have been living in the area that Paris encompasses since at least 9800 B.C. It has seen two world wars. It has over 2 million people that currently inhabit the city. What do you expect? A pristine, sparkling, city?!? What struck me more, was that there is a lot of graffiti in the city. But overall, I think it just looks like a city that has been around since before America was even a country. There’s gonna be some dirt and grime. I think it adds to the city’s allure.

Found him!

Overall, Paris was an absolutely breathtaking adventure. I am so happy that I was able to share such a wonderful experience with my favorite person in the world, celebrating the first of many anniversaries to come!

Stay tuned for the next leg of our European adventure…London.

A Day in the Life

The musings of a conundrum of a female; half warrior, half princess. Wholly awesome.